Perhaps

I’m always in awe of how God leads us to these moments in time where HE wants us to be. How he plans for us to be places, to hear things, to see things in the exact moments we need to.

At times we can be resistant to this can’t we? But as we look back at events that have happened in our lives we realized God placed us places, placed people in our lives, given us opportunities, taken things away which  led us onto this very path.

About two months ago I was lead to a women’s worship night hosted locally once a month.

I was nervous. I was late –I’m always late–I need to work on this –to change this. But I got there. After a couple of awkward first moments for me I sat in my seat and the evening began. Music began. I sang.

Do you ever sing but not worship? Singing words that you know so you just sing along?

But then the Holy Spirit starts to work in you– you feel the pull to not just sing with your lips but worship with your heart.

Next you get that lump in your throat —the cry lump —and then the walls start rising so no one gets too close, so no one sees you cry-

(you’re new here, you can’t cry !).

This is how we think am right?

We try to quickly build this wall to not feel those feelings He wants us to feel, so we don’t have to face the things we don’t really want to talk about, and before we know it–we’re building a wall so tall that we’ve tried to place Jesus right behind that wall too!

Before we know it He comes crashing through our very high, very safe wall. Making us feel every feeling. Making us cry crocodile tears. And in those moments shortly after–we try to quickly pick up the pieces realizing all to well no matter how high the wall Christ will always be greater.

And then the all the feelings really start to be felt don’t they?

He pushes us to do things we don’t want to do–like we literally sit there and argue with Him in our head while He is pushing us to be bold in this moment. To allow Him to take over in this moment.

Have you been there too? Have you tried to push that feeling away even though you know Jesus is calling you to do something else?

Eventually you can’t take it anymore, because the Holy Spirit is so much more greater than your stubborn self will EVER, EVER be. So finally, you give in and then

 [in retrospect] 

the most amazing things started to happen.

Joy happens, healing happens, you feel the love of God happen, you feel–and that’s what He’s wanted for you this whole time. The reason why He led you to this place, on this night, in this moment.

What I encourage you to do if you’ve never done so is allow a body of people to pray over you. To pray God’s word over you. To talk to strangers. To tell them parts of your story. To feel every feeling he’s calling you to feel at that specific time. You may be uncomfortable. You may be confused. You may want to turn around and run the other way and never come back, but if you stay, if you allow God to continue to work within you, you begin to see the very reasons He’s   brought you to this place.

And if you haven’t given in–if you quickly find yourself picking up your pieces each time He knocks over your wall–I’m here today to tell you that He’s  going to keep knocking it down until you surrender the pieces to Him no matter how young or old you are, He will keep coming back seeking you. You are His child.

So don’t just go through this life singing. Because I promise you worshiping is so much more greater. Listening to a God who is calling you to be in a moment where He has led you and allowing him to actually lead you will change your life. Allowing Him to take over before you build that nice tall wall is far greater than staying in the safe zone. Go where the road is uncertain,  those roads of uncertainty are where your faith will flourish.

The Lord is giving you these moments in time. TAKE THEM!  Step out in boldness and let the Spirit lead you even when you don’t know where the road leads.

Some days I still don’t know where He’s taking me, but I know no matter where we go together, He’ll never leave my side, and that is more comforting than that great big wall of comfort I thought I had before.

Someone told me that very night to “Go be an Esther”.

“Perhaps this is the moment for which I have been created.”

“Perhaps I was born for such a time as this.”

Perhaps He’s been knocking down your walls trying to make you realize He has so many amazing moments for you on the other side too. Trust him, even when you feel like you can’t.

Let him pick up your pieces. Let Him be the director of your story.

You may look back and realize that moment you thought was just a moment was actually when God changed you to prepare you for the moments ahead of this earthly life.

“Perhaps this was the moment for which you have been created. Perhaps you were born for such a time as this.”

Esther 4:14

xo,

Kate

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s