First and foremost, Happy New Year!
I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and New Year with your loved ones.
I’ve taken some time away from the blog but it feels good to sit down today to write.
About a month ago I attended a Women’s Worship Night that is hosted monthly in my town. I was so ready to rest in Jesus that night. The craziness of the Christmas season had started and I needed an hour of worship, my soul felt uneasy.
What I was surprised to find was how quiet I felt that night. I worshipped but it was quiet. I spoke to the Lord but I was also distracted in those moments. I kept asking him to pull me back in. To let my mind, heart, and soul be here, only here.
My soul was restless and I didn’t know why.
The night ended and I had stayed to clean up. I found myself as the last one there, standing with Pam. We began to talk about life and then the tangent ran off about my daughter.
That tangent would lead to the anxiety I was seeing in my little girl. I have watched my daughter over the past six months battle situational and social anxiety. So much so that there have been times I haven’t attended things because I could see how difficult it was for her which in turn was difficult for me.
Anxiety, OCD, and worry were found in a little girl who was just three years old. With a pretty long family history of anxiety my heart was often heavy for my daughter.
As a parent you want to be able to fix everything for your kids. You don’t want them to hurt. You don’t want them to feel different. More than anything you don’t want them to feel alone.
Shortly after we talked we prayed. That night Pam had me say out loud “Today this ends.” We prayed that the Lord would take and deliver Emelia of any anxiety that Satan was holding over her. That the generational trail of this would stop here.
I was encouraged to pray over Emelia when I saw signs of anxiousness. So that I did in the following weeks and we continued on with life.
Shortly before Christmas Emelia had made a comment to me about being “scared”, without even thinking I said back to her, “You have nothing to fear, remember we’ve prayed how you never have to be afraid.”
To my utter shock my three year old followed my sentence with “Because Jesus is always with me.”
Christmas came and we had many social and family gatherings to attend. I can’t tell you how many of my family members made comments to me about how great Emelia had done.
Just a month prior, this little girl didn’t want to walk into a house full with her very own aunts, uncles, and cousins.
I’ve thanked the Lord many times since then, because unknown to everyone else I knew it wasn’t her who had just woke up one day and changed. It was the Holy Spirit’s work in her. It was His deliverance, His peace.
And while some days are still hard, my hope is for her to know with Jesus she no longer will live this way. That Satan doesn’t get to have his say over her life. That in the moments where she feels like all she wants to do is isolate in the distance she is comforted in knowing that if she calls on her Heavenly Father He will deliver her what she needs.
I can’t help but think about how our Lord must feel as He looks down on His children. How so many of us carry burdens every day. How so many may feel alone. How so many may feel like there just isn’t much hope some days.
How as a parent my heart breaks for my child when she hurts, but how His must break so much more than I can ever imagine for His children.
What you need to know is there’s no burden that you have to carry. Stop thinking it’s just the “cards you were dealt”. Stop thinking you have to live this way. Stop thinking there’s no way out.
There is a way.
There’s life, deliverance, peace, hope, and healing in Jesus Christ.
Surrender your fears, your pains, your hurts today. Ask the Lord to deliver you of whatever it is.
You fill in that blank.
“Lord deliver me from ______. Today this ends for me. I give you full control to take this and give me healing. In you I will find strength. In you I will find rest. Lord if I awake tomorrow and still feel the heaviness of this life give me obedience to call on you again. Allow me to trust in your unfailing love, your goodness, that in you I have a road to freedom, but most importantly that I am yours..”
You are so worthy. You are worthy of deliverance. You are worthy of healing. You are a child of the King who doesn’t need to fear for you walk with the Lord.